The Blood of Roses
by Satine16
Summary: Rogue cannot choose between her head and her heart, her common sense and her desires. Remy is haunted by dreams and tortured by reality. They are stirred by the blood of roses. R for later chs.
1. The Hidden Thorn

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
By: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. They all belong to Marvel! Please do  
not sue me!  
  
  
Her lips met his in a soft kiss. It was midnight in the mansion and she had wandered into his  
room. Silver light and shadow danced across the room as the black clouds spotted the pale  
moonlight pouring from the open window. He pulled her body close to him and ran his hands  
over her baby blue satin nightgown. He began to kiss her soft neck as she ran her long, red finger  
nails through his hair. He gazed deep into her vivid green eyes and ran his hands through her  
auburn hair, lingering for awhile on the ivory strands that fell over her face and into her eyes.  
Their lips met again and he began to lie her down, pressing her into the bed below him.  
  
Remy's eyes snapped open. He rolled over, only to see that the woman asleep next to him was  
not the woman he wanted. Her dark hair fell in waves down her back and her slender figure was  
lacking something. Lacking the same thing as the rest. He slowly slipped out from under the  
covers and slid into his jeans. Grabbing his t-shirt and jacket off the ground, he left soundlessly.  
  
The dreams kept coming. He was miles away now, in San Diego, yet he could never get his  
mind off New York. He could never forget her. She haunted his dreams and his thoughts;  
despite his desperate attempts, he couldn't let go. He had tried and tried, and with many different  
women, but nothing worked.   
  
He saw the sun begin to rise as he lay on the sand smoking a cigarette. She had caused his  
mental paralysis. He sat for hours, pondering a return to Westchester. But that was in vain, he  
couldn't return. Frustrated and dismayed, Remy LeBeau hopped on his bike and drove off into  
the streets of California.  
  
Dawn was just peeking into the window as Rogue opened her eyes. The yellow cotton  
sheets were wrapped snugly around her torso and draped over the body of the man lying  
next to her. The room was lit with the hazy blue of the brand new morning.   
  
She softly kissed his bare, sleek chest and whispered "Good Mornin', Sugah."  
  
"Morning, Love."  
  
Joseph sat up and pulled her into his arms. His long silvery hair ran sleekly down his back  
and his sinewy arms grasped her slender waist. Her head rested heavily against his chest and her  
eyes fluttered form open to closed every so often.   
  
He had been the one to finally free her from her cage. He had worked for a year to create  
the treatments that finally allowed her to experience human touch. They had been officially  
together for six months.   
  
They listened as the birds began to chirp outside the window and he kissed her forehead  
softly.   
  
"What would you like for breakfast, my dear?"  
  
"Nothin'."  
  
His stormy grey eyes looked down into her vivacious green ones and their lips gently met  
in a slow and mellifluous kiss.  
  
Rogue climbed into the shower and let the luke warm water trickle down her smooth skin.  
She shut her eyes tight as the spray ran down her face and she thought about the man in the other  
room. She loved him dearly. Joseph was the perfect boyfriend. Never once had he forgotten an  
anniversary, birthday or even Valentine's Day. He opened doors for her, held her before they fell  
asleep and made sure she was always safe and comfortable.   
  
She got out of the shower and grabbed a burgundy towel out of the linen closet. A dark t-shirt  
fell onto the cold tile and she picked it up. The scent quickly brought back graphic memories. It  
was a thick musky scent. Cigarettes and cologne. Sweat and attraction. Gambit.   
  
Almost immediately she forced herself to snap back to reality. Panicked, she tossed the shirt  
to the back of the closet and slammed the door.   
  
"Are you alright in there?"  
  
"Jus' fine, Sugah. A little soggy, but fine."  
  
She heard him chuckle and listened as the heavy footsteps padded away.  
  
She used some gel to sleek back her hair into a tight pony tail and threw on a pair of old,  
faded jeans and a low cut, red t-shirt. As she zipped up her pair of shiny, brown boots she  
glanced at her freshly manicured, pale pink finger nails. They weren't covered anymore.  
  
Before taking off she made sure that the locket Joseph had given her for their anniversary  
was around her neck. It was platinum and had delicate engravings of her initials. It had become  
the most precious item Rogue possessed and she made sure never to even leave her room without  
it.   
  
The two got downstairs only to see that Hank, Scott, Jean, Ororo, Logan, and the  
Professor had congregated in the kitchen, and seemed to be having a political debate. Rogue  
could see the intrigue in Joseph's eyes and grasped his large hand as she led him into the room.  
The conversation was extremely involved and intense; and to Rogue, rather boring.   
  
Her eyes had wandered over to the group in the room across the hall. Bobby and John were  
playing pool and arguing over wether or not freezing the eight ball was fair. Jubilee was perched  
on the couch watching MTV, playing Gameboy and blowing extremely large pink bubbles.   
Kitty sat opposite her, in the bean bag chair, attempting to focus all her energy on the copy of  
Sula she held in her hands.  
  
"Ah'm gonna go talk ta the girls, hon."  
  
"Yeah, go ahead.....Impossible! His policies on the issue are non-existent. The man is a  
parrot." Joseph was paying no attention to her and remained engrossed in his argument with  
Scott and Hank.  
  
Rogue sauntered into the other room and collapsed down next to Jubilee. They were all a few  
years younger than she was, but she got along better with them than any of the elder residents.  
And unlike Joseph, Remy had too at one point.  
  
"Hey, Rogue," Bobby called from the pool table, " You ok?"  
  
"Yeah. Bored ta tears, but ok," she lied.  
  
"Cool. Guess what?" Jubilee interrupted. "I have a date Friday."  
  
"With?" Rogue's eyes widened and she smirked a little.  
  
"Please, Please, Please, do not get her started on this again! I just got her to shut up!" Kitty  
pleaded.  
  
Just then the doorbell pierced the overwhelming chaos.  
  
"I'll get it!" Bobby hollered and ran for the door.   
  
John screamed after him, "You only wanna answer it cause you're losing, asshole!"  
  
The large maple door creaked open and Rogue heard Bobby yell out, "Dude, didn't you  
leave?" She couldn't make out the person's response but she saw the people across the hall get up  
and approach the door.   
  
She saw Ororo's face light up as she ran for the door, thanking the Goddess, that whoever  
it was had returned. Her stomach lurched and she hopped off the couch. She stood, wrestling  
with her emotions and fidgeting, as each of them greeted the person behind the door. As it began  
to swing closed on it's large brass hinges, Joseph snaked behind her and soon she was in his arms  
as he planted a soft kiss on her cheek. It had distracted her enough to glance away from the  
doorway and when she looked back her opalescent eyes lost their glimmer. Her eyes had found  
Remy LeBeau's blazing red orbs burning a hole into her perfect little scene. 


	2. Vault of Dreams

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
By:Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of theses characters! They belong to Marvel! Please don't sue me!  
  
  
Remy received warm greeting from the entire household, yet the only one to ignore him was  
the one he wanted to speak to the most. Scott and Jean apologized for having to leave so soon,  
but Jean decided it was time to redecorate their bedroom and they needed to pick up the new  
curtains. Although everyone was warm and compassionate as they greeted him, no single person  
could hold his attention. He couldn't help but glance out of the corner of his eye at the lover's in  
the next room. Joseph seemed so attentive and demonstrative, yet she seemed uncomfortable. As  
if she had never expected to see him return. Remy's entire body quivered with livid emotion. He  
had known that the two had become close friends before he had even left, but now Joseph held  
her in his arms. Joseph was able to taste her candy lips and bubble gum tongue, something Remy  
had longed to do for so long.   
  
Rogue watched as Ororo wrapped her arms around Remy's neck and kissed his cheek. A  
lump the size of Kansas had formed in her throat and she swallowed hard. Joseph held her close  
to his chest and she could her his heavy breathing as his head rested upon her own, yet her mind  
was on the man across the room. He hadn't changed since he left seven months earlier. Her eyes  
rapidly danced over his magnetic features: the sculpted muscles only slightly hidden by  
threadbare denim and cotton, his chiseled jaw and full pink lips, the ones she had so longed to  
savor, and the tousled auburn hair that constantly fell into his eyes, somehow adding to the  
mystery that was Remy.  
  
Logan payed careful attention to the two. He could sense that the tension in the room was  
high and he saw Remy's constant glances in her direction. The most compelling though, was the  
lock Rogue had on Remy. Joseph could have proposed in that instant and she would have  
never heard it. It was as if Remy had entirely governed her senses the second he walked in the  
door. He had reclaimed his hold on her, or so it seemed. Logan also detected something else,  
someone else perceived the situation. Quickly, Logan glanced at Ororo and noticed her eyes had  
narrowed after earnestly greeting her life long companion. She had sensed the tension and  
predicted the situation. And she too realized that they would eventually have to greet each other.   
Interaction was rather unavoidable when you live, eat, work and exist together.   
  
"Ah don't feel so well, Joe. Ah'm gonna head upstairs." She slowly broke away form  
Joseph's grasp and wandered up the stairs.   
  
Remy's eyes darted with her movements. He was fixed on the fluid motion of her  
sauntering up the stairs, until Ororo broke his little bubble.  
  
"Your old room is still available, Remy. Let's get you situated."  
  
Ororo made it her business to drag Remy away from disaster with all her strength. She  
hated seeing him bring about his own destruction. It was something she had witnessed too  
many times already.  
  
Jean decided to cook dinner that evening and the numerous old friends gathered about the  
table. Betsy and Warren sat next to one another, glowing and chatty as ever. Ororo sat next to  
Remy and remained at a constant vigil. It worked out where he sat across from Rogue and her  
latest flame. Remy glared as Joseph rubbed her arms to warm her and hated the fact that she  
smiled back. Logan sat on the other side of Rogue planning to play referee if the war at hand was  
to break out that evening. Hank, Scott and Jean gathered towards the head of the table and  
remained engaged in their own affairs with Charles. The discourse was light and the evening  
went superbly. That was until Joseph addressed Remy and the rest of the conversation went  
quiet.  
  
"So, Remy, what did you do all that time in California? Where are the beach bunnies?"  
Joseph's question was meant to be taken in good fun, but everyone else at the table  
comprehended the way it had backfired on him.   
  
"Once you had one, mon ami, you had 'em all. Non?" Remy's voice was bitter and his  
tone was snide.   
  
"I guess they aren't much on intellect in the sunshine state." Joseph broke eye contact  
with the vehement Cajun and turned his gaze to the rice on his plate. As Remy began to cool  
again Joseph spoke, " Yet I'm sure you weren't very interested in that aspect anyway."  
  
Remy licked his lips and forced himself to meet Joseph's eyes's once again, but was  
distracted as soon as he did so.  
  
" 'Scuse me y' all. Thanks for dinner." Rogue turned and dashed out of the room at an  
alarming pace. Joseph was about to run after her when he saw Remy stand up from the table.  
  
"Dinner was lov'ly Jean. Thanks." With that he turned and escaped from the same exit  
through which Rogue had disappeared.  
  
Rogue lay observing the pale ceiling, counting the bumps, and thinking to herself. What  
was she supposed to do? Joseph had made her happy all this time and she couldn't just run to  
Remy! Yet at the same time there was no way to avoid his sudden presence in the mansion and  
in her life again. The pressure in her head was building as she realized that Remy had once again  
succeeded in complicating her life to no extent. She closed her eyes firmly and as she lay in  
silence, contemplating her situation, a gentle knocking came at the door.  
  
"Ah don' really wanna talk now, Joe. Come back later, Sugah."  
  
"'S not Joe, chere."  
  
Her heart skipped a beat. She rolled off the bed, crept to the door and opened it to reveal  
Remy leaning against the door frame, smirking. The infamous little half smile that he always  
gave her, more often than not, when he knew what she was thinking.   
  
"Come in."  
  
She clutched the overly large, brown teddy bear that Joe had given her for her birthday  
and slumped back onto the bed. He moved in a single aesthetic motion to the bed and sat  
weightlessly next to her. His eyes danced over her and he studied her movements as she bit her  
lip and fidgeted. He hated doing this to her, since he knew that she only squirmed when she was  
exceptionally uncomfortable. Something was crying out in the depths of his mind, saying he was  
not supposed to make her uncomfortable and they were never supposed to be awkward around  
each other.   
  
"You okay, chere?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Rogue had made every attempt to avoid Remy's eyes and it tortured him to have to hunt  
to make eye contact. Just then a single strand of white fell into her eyes, and Remy pushed it  
behind her right ear, almost as a reflex. She startled at the contact and quickly met his gaze. What  
he saw in her eyes depressed him. They weren't rich and radiant, but confused and pleading, sad  
and aching. He rose from his seat on the bed and approached the door. As he began to turn the  
old doorknob she called to him. Announced to him the very words he did not want to hear.  
  
"Ah'm happy with Joseph, Remy."  
  
With that he exited her room and closed the door behind him. As the door clicked shut he  
also sealed away his conceptions of possibly loving her again. 


	3. Cool as Ice

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
by: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters! I am not doing this for profit so please do not  
sue me!  
  
Darkness penetrated the entire building. It was a thick and musty darkness, and it  
suffocated the entire structure. Remy LeBeau sat hidden in this impenetrable cloak.   
  
He lost. The thoughts that had tormented his mind, the fantasies that had sweetened his  
dreams, the fears that had haunted his reality; they needed to be forgotten. There was no need to  
cling to hopes and concerns so intangible. His past had spawned his present. There was no one  
to blame but himself.  
  
"She does this to you every time," the deep, alto voice drifted in from the doorway.   
  
He slowly cast his glance in her direction. Her glassy eyes and pale mane glinted in the  
scanty amount of starlight. She sauntered over to where he was seated and weightlessly perched  
beside him.   
  
"Why did you return, Remy? When you left my mind was finally at ease. You were free  
from her grasp."  
  
"Ya don' understand, 'Ro. 'S not that easy."  
  
"She is poison to you. What more is there to understand?"  
  
His red eyes flared and met her pale orbs in the blackness. "Oxygen is poison to the body  
too, no? But we still need it ta survive."  
  
"Why do you still need her? She's left you broken so many times. Why would this time  
be any different?"  
  
"Jus' like Ah said, mah belle. Ya don' understand it. Or her fo' that matter. Ah know her  
like nobody else ever has or ever will. But don't worry, chere. Ya tired mind can stop worryin'  
'bout ol' Remy. She don' want me no more. Doesn't mean that Ah'll stop lovin' her. Jus'  
means Ah'm not allowed to."  
  
With that he rose from his chair and turned to exit the room.   
  
"Don' say nothin' more, chere. Ah don' wanna hear it. You an Ah both know, 's better  
this way," his voice was shallow and frozen. Cool as ice.  
  
The soft yellow glow of the lamp flickered as Rogue padded across the room. Her pale  
pink, satin nightdress danced about her legs as she stepped off onto the balcony and into the  
night. Her hair was clasped in a soft, half pony tail and the gentle breeze cast loose strands about  
her face. The moon was a pale silver color that night. It was just a small sliver of light,  
blanketed by the deep navy sky. She grasped the cold steel railing and closed her eyes to the  
brisk night air.   
  
She longed to take flight. To escape the labyrinth that had overtaken her mind. If only  
she could simply get lost in the cool emptiness of the night. If only she could plainly exist and  
listen solely to the mournful cries of the wind   
  
She was crooning. There was a lover once, no, a pair of lovers. But something tainted  
their affections. Something separated the two. It was a crime so malicious that the wind still  
sings their song. The wind grieves for joy. She laments love. She cannot forget time that was  
lost so long ago.  
  
The glassy world around her was suddenly shattered as Joseph's warm arms encased her.   
His lean frame pressed against her back and the warmth his body generated was enough awaken  
her sense of reality.  
  
"Ready for bed?" he whispered gently in her ear and softy grazed his lips over her neck.  
  
She scarcely nodded and he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the room.   
  
They made love that night. As the midnight breeze entered their room he held her in his  
arms. Long after Joseph had fallen asleep, she remained awake. She watched the open balcony  
door. The white chiffon curtains danced restlessly about the doorframe. They danced to the  
endless song of the wind. 


	4. Forgotten Tears

Title: The Blood of Roses   
  
by: Satine16   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Marvel! Please don't sue me! :)   
  
With the dawn returned Rogue's normality. The many forces that clung and tore at her  
  
soul the previous night halted their assault. She awoke to a crystal blue sky and yellow sun. As  
  
she brushed the sleep from her eyes, she wandered to the open door and soundlessly closed it.   
  
Her steps were silent and careful that morning, and she was weary not to wake Joseph as she  
  
headed for the shower.   
  
She crept towards the kitchen, attempting to make as little noise as humanly possible: god  
  
forbid she wake Logan before he was good and ready to greet the daylight.  
  
She entered the room-its sleepy blue tint of dawn and the smell of freshly brewed coffee  
  
overwhelmed her. Yet when she caught a glimpse of Remy, a warm cup of coffee in his hand,  
  
(black the way she always liked it) her jovial attitude ceased to exist.  
  
"Mornin', Chere. Ya get a good night's sleep?"  
  
She nodded and cast her glance downward as she wiggled her bare toes against the cold  
  
tile. A brisk breeze came through the open window and she wrapped her black cardigan around  
  
her shoulders.  
  
"Have a sip. It'll warm ya up."  
  
She carefully took the warm porcelain from his hand and she perched upon the stool  
  
across from the anxious Cajun.  
  
"Listen, Chere," he lifted her chin with his finger and thumb and met her dismayed green  
  
eyes with a despondent gaze, "All Remy wants is your friendship. He don' wanna ruin what  
  
you've got with Joe. Ah only wanna be able ta talk to that girl Ah knew before Ah left. Have  
  
somebody to laugh with. Is that too much to ask?"  
  
He had touched her. It was the first time that they had made contact without a barrier  
  
between them. She slowly removed her had from her coffee cup and gingerly began to extend  
  
her arm towards his stubble covered jaw. Yet something suddenly made her recoil, and the tears  
  
began to stream down her cheeks.  
  
"Yes, Remy. It is too much."  
  
With that she turned and ran from the kitchen. She didn't stop running until she had  
  
reached the library at the opposite side of the campus. The room was still uninhabited by a single  
  
life force and only a few glimmers of the rising sunlight was able to creep in through the heavy  
  
curtains. She collapsed against the heavy door and sank to the floor. She wept until she could no  
  
longer get a breath of air into her lungs. It was simply too much.   
  
  
  
After that Rogue made her best attempt to avoid Remy at every cost. It was a large  
  
mansion and there was no reason that they would have to see each other. And for a few weeks  
  
her plan was very successful, yet part of her missed seeing him. Part of her wanted to hear his  
  
contagious laughter and to see his flirtatious smile.  
  
Rogue was helping Ororo make breakfast, it was their turn for the week, and she heard  
  
him slip in the room. She stayed hidden within the pantry as his smooth drawl filled the other  
  
room.   
  
  
  
"Mornin' ma belle."  
  
  
  
"Good morning, Remy." He came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist,  
  
and kissed her softly on the neck. She, appalled by his actions, turned and shoved him away from  
  
her.   
  
"You smell like vodka. Go get in the shower, Remy."   
  
"Ah will, 'Ro. But Maggie's still in there," a small smirk came across his face as he  
  
caught her look of disapproval.   
  
"Come on, Cherie, you know that the second you say the word, we'll take our showers  
  
together."  
  
  
  
Rogue inhaled deeply and decided that sooner or later she was going to have to leave her  
  
hideout amongst the sugar and flour bags.   
  
"Mornin', Swamp Rat. Will this work, Ororo?"  
  
  
  
"That will be fine."   
  
  
  
"Mornin', Rogue," his face was grave now, completely devoid of the smile he had just  
  
given Ororo; his once luminous attitude had faded. Rogue shifted her gaze to Ororo, and noticed  
  
the glare of frustration that she had fixated upon Remy.   
  
"Ya really know how ta piss people off early in the mornin', doncha Swamp Rat?"   
  
She held her breath as her words hung in the air. She had made the attempt that he had  
  
tried earlier. There was nothing keeping the two from remaining friends. There was nothing that  
  
said their interaction would lead to the development of romantic tension and hot, fiery sex. It was  
  
a desperate attempt to try and mend what she could not fix before. She could be friends with  
  
Remy, and still come home to Joseph at night. The glint in his eyes came back, and a small smirk  
  
spread across his face.  
  
"Ah don' know, Chere. It's you that's pissed most o' the time. Ah better go help Maggie.  
  
She may not know how to use the soap." With a wink and a smile he got up from the chair and  
  
sauntered up the stairs.   
  
Rogue couldn't help but wonder to herself. A thousand thoughts whizzed in her brain  
  
each second. Maybe they would be alright? Maybe it could just be that easy? But her thought  
  
process was disturbed by Ororo telling her to stop daydreaming and get the freaking cantaloupe.  
  
Joseph wandered in with Scott. He wore a pair of pressed khakis and a red sweater. Scott wore a  
  
pair of pressed grey dockers and a blue sweater. Rogue decided that they had been hanging out  
  
together too much.   
  
"Love, what would you say to my traveling to the capital?"  
  
"What?? WHY?" a sudden look of frenzy came across Rogue's face.  
  
"I would like to go with Scott."  
  
"No, Sugah, please?"  
  
"I realize that you don't want me to participate. I realize that this will be dangerous. I  
  
want to go. Jean, Hank and Ororo are also going. This protest and debate are for all of us. I  
  
must partake. Anyway, my suitcase is already packed."  
  
"Then Ah guess Ah don't get much of a say in the matter."  
  
He gave her a tender kiss on the cheek and gracefully brushed his lips over her own.   
  
"Our plane leaves at one." 


	5. A Step Beyond the Past

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
by: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They all belong to Marvel. I simply do this for  
  
fun and no $ is being made! I beg of you...don't sue me!  
  
Rogue saw Joseph off that afternoon. He wore his brown leather jacket and dark  
  
sunglasses. His silver hair was tied back into a long ponytail that ran in a sleek line down his  
  
back. He looked really rather sexy. She watched him board the plane with Jean, wearing a navy  
  
blue skirt and her hair in a messy french twist, Ororo in a pressed black pants suit and hair in a  
  
glistening white braid, Scott, in his grey Dockers and black leather, and Hank, in his slate grey  
  
suit. She gazed down at her stonewashed denim and red tank top and suddenly realized what a  
  
fashionable group they were sending to Washington.  
  
Joseph gave her one last kiss before leaving her at the gate. He hastily pressed his lips  
  
against her own and ran to board the plane. A slight tingling danced across her lips and  
  
throughout the small of her back where his hands had previously perched. She slipped her  
  
tortoise shell sunglasses on, slowly turned and sauntered to the place where Logan would be  
  
picking her up.  
  
To her utter amazement, Logan's truck was not there. In its place was a black Harley,  
  
sporting a smug Cajun in a trench coat.  
  
"Logan got busy, Chere, so here Ah am. Hurry up!"  
  
He tossed her an old helmet. Her old helmet. It was a deep shade of violet and had a  
  
small print of a red rose at the temple. It had been a long time since she had put this on, but  
  
either way she clasped it under her chin and hopped onto the back of the bike.  
  
As they sped along, Rogue closed her eyes tightly and secured her grasp around Remy's  
  
torso. She still found it very easy to cling to hm as they zoomed in and out of the traffic. He was  
  
still as lean as he ever was, and it was comfortable, this place she had been so many times before.  
  
The bike came to a halt in the gravel driveway, and Remy helped her dismount. He took  
  
her helmet and put it back, to the same place he always stored it, and the two walked into the  
  
building together.  
  
Charles watched them from his bedroom window and a melancholy sign escaped his lips.   
  
The uneasy felling in the pit of his stomach could, and should not be completely disregarded.  
  
Summer had finally arrived full force in New York. The days were hot and the nights  
  
were steamy. The sky was crystal clear that Friday night, each diamond star was visible,  
  
scattered in the rich, blue velvet, dome. It was a perfect night to perch out on the deck and the  
  
opportunity was not surpassed.  
  
Jubilee sat sipping a glass of lemonade and jabbering on incessantly, yet Remy was kind  
  
and simply smirked through her blabbering. Bobby was pointing out the many constellations to a  
  
seemingly interested Rogue. Part of her was interested in the stars, the other part pitied his  
  
hopeless infatuation with the young girl on the other side of the deck.  
  
Someone had left the radio on in the kitchen and the smooth sound of Eric Clapton's  
  
song, You Look Wonderful Tonight, came pouring out of the window.  
  
"Care ta dance, Petit?"  
  
Jubilee turned bright red as Remy rose from the table, and in one swift motion, pulled her  
  
out of her seat and into his arms. Rogue caught a glimpse of the two and thought that they  
  
slightly resembled a protective older brother and his silly little sister.  
  
"Rogue?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
'Umm...wanna dance?"  
  
"Sure, Sugah."  
  
Bobby was slightly more inexperienced on the dance floor, and his feet were awkward,  
  
but Rogue appreciated the offer. Yet she couldn't help but notice the constant glances he cast at  
  
the other duo.  
  
"Ya should ask the girl ta dance."  
  
"Wha? No. She'd say no. I don't dance like he does. She's not interested."  
  
She couldn't truly hold back her smile at the confused boy's babbling. It reminded her  
  
too much of the boys she had known so long ago. Or had wanted to know. Either way, all he  
  
needed was encouragement.  
  
"Bobby, just do it."  
  
Bobby wearily tapped Remy on the shoulder and politely asked if he could cut in on their  
  
dance. Rogue stood beaming as Bobby took Jubilee in his arms and began to slowly sawy back  
  
and forth.  
  
"Wanna dance, Chere?"  
  
She shot him a knowing look of disapproval, but accepted the offer and took his hand.   
  
They moved slowly to the rhythm of the music and as she grew more comfortable she rested her  
  
head on his chest. As she did so, he pulled her in closer and inhaled the sweet scent of her  
  
perfume. Right then, it seemed as if she was made to be held in his arms. The perfect fit. Rogue  
  
on the other hand buried herself in him and drowned her senses in the overwhelming warmth of  
  
his body, and the powerful scent of his cologne, and the languid motions of his lean form.  
  
A matter of time passed by before either individual realized the music had stopped,  
  
Bobby and Jubes had already let and the rest of the mansion had went to bed.  
  
Remy sat sipping his coffee and thinking about the previous night. He wouldn't allow  
  
this to happen. It had become perfectly clear that she was in a relationship and was perfectly  
  
content. He would not travel that road again. He would not make the same mistakes again. Just  
  
then the telephone rang.  
  
Rogue closed her eyes as the warm spray of water trickled down her back. She  
  
consistently told herself that she would not repeat her errors. She would not allow herself to give  
  
in to the same yearnings that had once governed her mind. Yet the vivid imagery of the night  
  
before continued to slip into her mind. His musky scent and warm physique. Most tormenting  
  
was the gentle but secure way he held her. Frustrated, she slammed the water off and stepped out  
  
into the humid, foggy bathroom. After throwing on an old pair of jeans and a washed out baby  
  
tee, she ran down to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and one of Jean's left over banana  
  
muffins.  
  
"You interested, Petit?"  
  
"Dinner would be great, and I would go, but Bobby asked me out yesterday...so I can't.  
  
Sorry, Remy!" Jubilee called to the frustrated man as she exited the room.  
  
Rogue entered just in time to see how upset the Cajun could be when he didn't get his  
  
way.  
  
"What's wrong, Sugah?"  
  
"Ah got dinner reservations and tickets ta see a show tonight. Mah date called and  
  
canceled, rescheduled fo' next week, so Ah spent all this money fo' nothing. Unless..." a small  
  
smirk crept across Remy's face and a familiar glint appeared in his eye.  
  
"Doncha gimme that look Swamp Rat. What do yo want?'  
  
"Come wit' me. Just as friends, Chere. Ah don' wanna be out eh money. It'll be jus'  
  
like the time Ah took 'Ro to the ballet."  
  
She narrowed her emerald green eyes at him with a furious and annoyed expression, yet  
  
could not hold back the small smile that had begun to surface.  
  
"Ah'll pick ya up at seven, Chere."  
  
"But Ah didn't even say 'yes' yet."  
  
Indulging in his triumph, he turned, smirked and winked at her exasperated stance, and  
  
exited the kitchen beaming.  
  
He fixed himself up as nice as possible that evening. Granted they were going out  
  
together as friends, same as if he was taking Ororo. But he put on his new Armani suit and payed  
  
extra attention to details. He had ordered a dozen red roses for her as a kind gesture, he didn't  
  
mean for it to come off as insanely romantic, or at least he didn't think he did. In a short while  
  
he was pressed, clean and ready to pick her up.  
  
Rogue went absolutely crazy trying to prepare for the evening. She left her hair down,  
  
(naturally wavy, the way Remy had always liked it) except for a small diamond barrette that she  
  
used to sweep back the hair over her left ear. She put on her new black dress. It was Carmen  
  
Marc Valvo, sunburst pattern, with a halter top, and had a slit running from her toes to her mid  
  
thighs in perfect symmetry with the deep v-neck. Joseph had bought it for her because he though  
  
she would look amazing in it, and this was the first time she was going to wear it. It was the first  
  
time she had anywhere to wear it. And his assumption was right, she did look amazing in it.   
  
When Remy rapped on her door she took one final deep breath and opened it. He stood  
  
there, looking as handsome as she had ever seen him, and she suddenly felt a little dizzy. In  
  
return though, Remy lost his ability to breathe as he caught sight of her. She was ravishing, and  
  
he quickly discovered that Joseph obviously didn't know what he had. No sane man would leave  
  
this behind him.  
  
"For you, mah Chere," he handed her the lush bouquet and took one step inside.  
  
"Remy ya really shouldn' a done this. It ain't a date."  
  
'Ah know. If it was a date Ah'd a brought diamonds. Flowers fo' friends. Jewelry fo'  
  
lovers."  
  
A frustrated smile spread across her face as she placed the red blossoms in water.  
  
Offering her his elbow, he smirked and asked, "Shall we?"  
  
They headed for the garage (since it was a rather dressy occasion, Remy decided to  
  
"borrow" Scott's BMW) but not without many looks from the present inhabitants. It was very  
  
true that they made a gorgeous couple, but it was also very true that Rogue was half of another  
  
beautiful couple.  
  
Their first stop was an amazing Italian restaurant that he had taken her to once before. It  
  
was classic, like an old Cary Grant movie, and Rogue could remember taking a carriage ride  
  
through Central Park shortly after their last visit. He like it because barely anyone knew about it.   
  
It was his secret hide away, the place he took his women. And they always sat at the same corner  
  
table, with a bottle of red wine, and split a tiramisu for desert. Rogue chuckled to herself and at  
  
the situation, but part of her wished she was one of his girls, one of the many that would end the  
  
night in his arms. The rest of her was ashamed at his emotion and shunned the thoughts  
  
immediately. Yet she was oblivious to the fact that she was his girl, his one and only, she would  
  
not fade in the early morning hours, like so many others.  
  
After they completed their meal, the zipped to the Metropolitan Opera House. They  
  
reached their seats, and with bated breath, Rogue absorbed the beauty of the building. It was not  
  
as if she hadn't been there before, Joseph had taken her to see La Traviata only a short while  
  
earlier, yet it seemed as if her eyes had opened with an entirely new perspective. The lights  
  
dimmed and the curtain opened to reveal an elegant setting of cherry blossoms and of geishas,  
  
Puccini's Madame Butterfly had begun. The story flew by quickly, and before Rogue had truly  
  
absorbed all that was happening, Cio-Cio San lay dying as a desperate Pinkerton called her name,  
  
and the tears were falling endlessly down her cheeks. Suddenly she felt Remy's warm, strong  
  
hand encase her own, and she softly squeezed it between sobs.  
  
As they exited the Opera House, Rogue was still whimpering, and Remy helped her get  
  
into the car. He quickly got in next to her and turned the key in the ignition. Carefully, he leaned  
  
over and tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks with is hands. She nuzzled into his chest and  
  
felt his arm wrap around her and hold her securely to him as he drove with his other hand. They  
  
rose in silence and a few tears still trickled soundlessly down her cheeks.  
  
"Ya feelin' alright, Chere?"  
  
"Yeah, Remy. Thank you. Ah had an amazin' time."  
  
"A beaming smile spread across her face and she responded with a small smirk. A strand  
  
of hair fell into her eyes, and he gently tucked it behind her ear, lingering for a mom ent and  
  
letting his fingers graze her soft skin. Breaking eye contact, she turned and entered her room  
  
slowly, as he pivoted and headed down the stairs.   
  
Rogue began to undress, hung up her gown neatly and put on her nightdress. She brushed  
  
her teeth, and washed her face as usual, but as she dried off her gazed dreamily at her reflection.   
  
Her focus shifted to the roses he had given her, her favorite color. Red was for love, pink for  
  
friendship, and white, white was for death. He knew that about her. Had taken the time and  
  
memorized her strange mental and physical idiosyncracies. Then, eerily, as if in slow motion,  
  
she made eye contact with the girl in the mirror and brought her fingers, cold from the tap water,  
  
to her face, carefully grazing the area where, shortly before, Remy's hands had lingered. Quickly  
  
removing her hand she reached out and shut off the light above the mirror, making the room  
  
pitch dark and eliminating the view of her reflection.  
  
Remy lay in bed, counting the bumps on his ceiling. He could not sleep. It was hot,  
  
although he didn't quite understand why he was so uncomfortable, seeing as he was lying, sans  
  
sheet and in his boxers. Frustrated and exasperated he flipped over, for the fortieth time that  
  
evening, with a grunt. Bobby had visited twice to try and talk to him about Jubes, Remy had  
  
figured that it meant his date had gone extraordinarily well or extraordinarily badly, but never  
  
had the chance to find out since, both times he had slammed the door in his face before allowing  
  
the boy to speak. For the third time that evening there was a rapping on his door.   
  
Pissed beyond all doubt, Remy shot from his bed and tore the door open, growling,  
  
"Bobby, Ah told ya that AH don' give a..." but his aggravation was cut short. It was not Bobby  
  
at the door. Instead it was Rogue standing in his doorway, wearing her satin nightgown and  
  
biting her lip. Their eyes locked and he fully comprehended her purpose. His emotions, still sky  
  
rocketing from his irritation with Bobby and the heat, took another jolt seeing her there. She was  
  
there because the same sensations that kept him counting flaws in the architecture had haunted  
  
her as well. The time that had, a moment ago, seemed to tick by so slowly, was now zooming.   
  
Heart pounding, he wrapped his arms around her slender waist and pressed his hot lips to her  
  
own. He felt her response instantly, and soon her soft arms her linked around his neck as he  
  
pulled her in closer. She slammed the door as they slid into the dark room. 


	6. Breath and Suffocation

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
by: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, and I simply write for fun. Characters of property of Marvel!   
  
The song is Breathing by Lifehouse and I don't own that either! Please do not attempt to harm  
  
me!  
  
Author's Note: I wanted to apologize for taking so long to post this chapter. The reason it has  
  
taken so long is that I originally had another song incorporated in an entirely different context,  
  
yet when I heard this I knew that it would be perfect and restructured the chapter. So enjoy!  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
Remy LeBeau shot in and out of traffic as he headed back towards the mansion. He had  
  
so much to do that day, yet he was unable to tear his thoughts away from her soft skin and the  
  
way she tasted. Like strawberries and honey. He had forgotten what it was to be truly consumed  
  
by an individual, and the welcome feeling washed over him again sweetly. It seemed as though  
  
his existence had changed in the flash of a moment.  
  
  
  
I'm finding my way back to sanity again  
  
Though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there  
  
  
  
They had been on this roller coaster before, and it had never gone well. But that had  
  
never inhibited his love for her. The complications had never been strong enough to intimidate  
  
and frustrate him into fully abandoning her. Even when he had left New York, his heart still  
  
remained in Westchester. Every time the two met a spark would fly and something would  
  
happen, for better or for worse. Remy cherished every minute. He had never known a woman  
  
with as much fire and heart. He had now fallen forever into her.   
  
  
  
I take a breath and hold on tight  
  
Spin around one more time  
  
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace  
  
  
  
He continued to gain speed as he went on. The sky was a lustrous array of aqua, lavender  
  
and pink as the red sun faded in the distance. The hours were pressing on and every minute was  
  
dear to him, and he was still miles away. He desperately wanted to hold her in his arms again,  
  
wanted to hear her soft voice in his ear, wanted to love her in the best possible way.   
  
  
  
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying  
  
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
It's where I wanna be, yeah  
  
Where I wanna be  
  
  
  
Joseph had returned that afternoon while Remy was out. He had brought her a bouquet of  
  
white roses, and she smiled as she accepted them. He immediately insisted that they be placed in  
  
water, and disposing of Remy's slightly older blossoms, inserted his own in the crystal vase. She  
  
had been happy to see him return, yet she could not say that all her enthusiasm was real. It  
  
seemed to her that the raw individual that she had placed before Remy, fled at Joseph's return.   
  
The flesh was shrouded in cashmere and lipstick. That night as Joseph finished unpacking, she  
  
stripped away her makeup and stared at her bare face in the mirror. She could see the small scar  
  
on her chin again, the one that Remy had kissed the night before. The one he had loved.   
  
  
  
I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth  
  
And I'm trying to identify the voices in my head  
  
  
  
Joseph kissed her as he slipped under the sheets next to her. It was mild and bland, like a  
  
WonderBread sandwich. She tightly shut her eyes and turned on her side in a desperate attempt  
  
to wash away the room. Yet when she opened her eyes later on all she saw was the same moonlit  
  
room, and she heard the dragging sounds of Joseph's heavy breathing.   
  
  
  
God I wish, won't you  
  
Let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel  
  
And break these calluses off me one more time  
  
  
  
She slipped down to find Remy's room empty and peeked into the garage to see that his  
  
bike was still missing. Her heart sank as if it had been filled with gravel, and she slowly padded  
  
up the stairs to return to her bedroom. The distant sound of a bike pulling down the street, up the  
  
driveway and into the garage made her smile. But the sudden flicker of light in her bedroom  
  
snapped her back to this reality and she darted up the steps.  
  
  
  
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying  
  
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
Its where I wanna be, yeah  
  
  
  
Remy came into the house and headed up the stairs two at a time. Every bone in his body  
  
was aching for her. He pulled off his leather jacket and swung it over his shoulder as he raised  
  
his hand to knock on her bedroom door.   
  
  
  
Oh I don't want a thing from you  
  
Bet you're tired of me waiting for  
  
The scraps to fall off of your table to the ground  
  
Cause I just wanna be here now  
  
  
  
He halted as he heard the voices. Joseph was home.  
  
  
  
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying  
  
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
Its where I wanna be, ye  
  
Where I wanna be  
  
  
  
Remy listened intently at the door as Rogue and Joseph spoke.  
  
"Love, I wanted to wait til dinner tomorrow, but I simply can't. I felt you leave for a  
  
glass of water and seized the moment."  
  
"Joseph, what the..."  
  
Before she was allowed to finish, Joseph fell to his one knee and opened the aquamarine  
  
Tiffany & Co. box to reveal a shining diamond. All the air in Rogue's lungs had escaped and she  
  
stood motionless, her mouth agape.  
  
"Joe, Ah....Ah don't know what to say.'  
  
"Say yes. Say you'll marry me."  
  
"Ah, Ah..."  
  
Yet she wasn't even aloud to formulate an honest answer, and Joseph had slipped the ring  
  
onto her polished finger before even receiving one. All of her thoughts whizzed throughout her  
  
mind and speech was suddenly impalpable. Joseph lifted her into his arms and a strange  
  
numbness seized her body, while Remy tore at her mind.  
  
He had slid to the floor in horror as the scene unfolded, and now crouched with his back  
  
to her door and his head in his hands. The sounds from the room tormented him and the only  
  
comfort available was the bitter silence and subtle creaking of the woodwork.   
  
  
  
Cause I am hanging on every word you're saying  
  
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight  
  
That's alright, alright with me  
  
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door  
  
And listen to you breathing  
  
Its where I wanna be, yeah  
  
Where I wanna be 


	7. Spite

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
by: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters involved in this story. They belong to Marvel. I  
  
simply write for fun, and I make no money at all, so please don't sue me. Thanks!  
  
Remy LeBeau sat on the balcony of his cheap motel room and stared into nothingness.   
  
There was too much light pollution to see the stars. The incessant buzzing to the Motel sign  
  
made an earnest attempt to drown out the banging, moaning and hollering coming from the  
  
couple in the next room. He was halfway through his carton of Marlboro's and had polished off  
  
about a third of the bottle of whisky he had picked up. The bags under his eyes were a deep  
  
purple, and his five o'clock shadow had become unruly. He had become the polar opposite of  
  
the man that had attended the opera merely a few evenings earlier.  
  
He wanted to become so numb that he would merely pass out. Eventually, after a few  
  
more cigarettes he was too exhausted and he stumbled to his bed. He had returned to the city that  
  
evening to be in a familiar environment. One that didn't offer the luxury of Xavier's mansion, or   
  
of a woman's love. The world around him began to fade to black as he listened to the woman  
  
praise Jesus as she and her partner rocked the paper thin walls.  
  
Dawn broke through the windows with a cruel glare, and pierced his fragile eyelids. He  
  
rolled from the bed, stumbled into the bathroom, vomited in the grimy sink and through away his  
  
liquor and cigarettes. He left a hundred dollar bill on the front desk as he wandered out into the  
  
sunlight.   
  
He felt half formed. Slipped on a pair of dark sunglasses as he entered the small coffee  
  
shop. The entire caf‚ was lit with the blue glow of the sunrise, and he sat morosely at the  
  
counter.   
  
"What can I get cha?"  
  
"Coffee, black."  
  
He looked up at the waitress. She couldn't have been much older than twenty-five. Her  
  
hair was blonde, and she had floppy bangs that fell into her eyes. Really warm brown eyes. And  
  
a sweet smile. Not seductive or adult, sweet and genuine, unlike many of the people Remy  
  
knew.  
  
He knew that he looked like crap. Like a hung over scumball, just back from screwing a  
  
cheap prostitute all night long. He hadn't brushed his teeth or showered. And now he sat with  
  
the truckers, and the men that worked the grave yard shift; a small existence of its own entirety.   
  
Yet she brought him his coffee quickly and sat next to him at the counter.   
  
"My name's Charlie."  
  
"Remy," he extended his hand and shook her freshly manicured one.  
  
Rogue wandered into the Danger Room early that morning. Both emotionally and  
  
physically exhausted, she wondered if she could handle this.  
  
"You're late, kid."  
  
"Ah am not. Not mah fault you're old and can't sleep!"  
  
They did this once a month. It was their custom. There was only one rule. No holding  
  
back. Thus was their relationship. They had always been brutally honest with one another, if not  
  
just brutal. She loved him for telling her she was a foolish little girl. He loved her for  
  
understanding his rough exterior was, simply an exterior, and not letting anyone else know.   
  
She dealt the first blow. But he caught her fist in his own and knocked her to the mat  
  
with a swift kick. She came back with a hard jolt to the abdomen, sending him across the floor.  
  
"Does...Joe...know...we...do...this?"  
  
"No...Ah'm...delicate...remember?" with that she dealt a hard elbow to his gut.  
  
"Whatever you say, kid," and he socked her in the chest.  
  
While attempting to catch her breath she gasped, "Joe doesn't have ta know Ah brawl  
  
with ya when the mood strikes me."  
  
He grabbed her in a tight choke hold and asked, "What else don't he know?"  
  
"He...loves...me," she choked and struggled to escape.  
  
"Yeah well, I guess I'm gonna be his new best friend," he let her go and she fell to te  
  
ground.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Somebody needs to help him with that forty percent of you he hasn't been introduced to  
  
yet. He won't know how to handle it."  
  
She glared at him and said, "He understands me, Logan."  
  
"He understands the Nicole Kidman image you've given him. But he gives you white  
  
roses and follows politics not Christianity. And he doesn't know what you've got inside a you. I  
  
can't wait for him to wake up."  
  
With that Logan left and Rogue collapsed breathless and annoyed onto the blue mats.   
  
Maybe he was right.  
  
She and Joseph spent their 'date night' browsing wedding catalogues and eating Ben and  
  
Jerry's. They were perched in the kitchen when Remy came in. He was with some gorgeous  
  
blonde, and Rogue couldn't help but stare as they stumbled in laughing. Remy caught her gaze  
  
and she quickly pretended to be laughing at Joseph's sarcastic comment. But she saw in plain  
  
view that the girl was nibbling on his ear and he started to lead her to his room.  
  
He spent the night nestled in between the girl's thighs. He wanted to make her moan and  
  
cry. He wanted everyone to know that they were there. He wanted Rogue to know that he didn't  
  
need her just as much as she didn't want him. 


	8. Shattered Glass

Title: The Blood of Roses  
  
by: Satine16  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters! They all belong to Marvel. The song is Fallen,  
  
by Sarah McLachlan. I am not doing any of this for money, so please don't sue me.  
  
Rogue's existence for the past month was a whirlwind of rings, lace, organza and cake.   
  
Her entire life quickly began to revolve around the wedding. The more involved she became, the  
  
more detached she felt. She was in her glassy world again, and this time there was no escape to a  
  
desirable reality. No breath of oxygen to relieve the suffocation. But she loved Joseph, and he  
  
was offering her everything she had ever wanted on a silver platter, with a Tiffany wedding band  
  
and Vera Wang gown. She knew she was heading in the right direction. She had started to run  
  
every morning. Her wedding gown would be a size eight if it killed her. That meant she had two  
  
more sizes to drop in the chest and butt, and she was going to do it. Joseph had left her to work  
  
on the wedding for awhile so he could go to Dallas with Hank. She was lonely, but had decided  
  
that she would be perfect upon his return.   
  
Remy watched her closely. She was falling apart. She wanted to be perfect to be with  
  
Joseph. And it was destroying him. She had lost too much weight in an attempt to strengthen  
  
this facade. This magnificent woman she'd created for Joseph. He watched the woman he loved  
  
waste away into someone else, and knew that he had to try and stop her. He had attempted to let  
  
go. Had screwed everything in a skirt for weeks on end, and the sex got wilder and louder each  
  
time. But it was no distraction. Remy could have a strictly physical relationship whenever he  
  
pleased, and had relished in them for his entire life. Yet he had tasted the love of a woman now,  
  
and was not eager to let it slip from his grasp that quickly.  
  
He cornered her after her run one morning and pinned her up against a bookcase in the  
  
study.  
  
"What's happenin' to ya Chere?"  
  
"Remy..."  
  
"Non," he pressed a finger to her lips. "You're not yourself, Chere. You're not real  
  
anymore."  
  
"Remy, Ah don't know what ya mean."  
  
"Chere, ya know very well..." she slipped out from in-between the bookshelf and his  
  
frame.  
  
"No Remy, Ah don't!" She began to holler, the anguish and pain that had built up all this  
  
time escaped and she screamed at the top of her lungs. "Get it through ya thick skull, Swamp  
  
Rat! Ah love Joe and he loves me and we're gettin' married. You're not in the picture."  
  
He crossed the room in a swift motion and pulled her close to him. He held her as tight  
  
as he could without hurting her.   
  
"This is real, Chere. Ah know that you can eat an entire bucket of chicken without a  
  
second thought, and that your thighs look great in that old pair of jeans ya never seem to get rid  
  
of, and that you sweat during sex and cry at night when the dreams get to be too much." He  
  
leaned in and kissed her, tasting the tears that streamed down her face. "Ah know that ya taste  
  
like honey and strawberries, and that your skin is soft as silk, and that you'll die fighting. This,  
  
this is real, Chere," he pulled her even closer to him. "Ah love you. Every inch. That man  
  
you're marryin' don' understand you and never will. But this is real, and Ah'm not goin'  
  
anywhere soon."   
  
Heaven bend to take my hand  
  
And lead me through the fire  
  
Be the long awaited answer  
  
To a long and painful fight  
  
The warm spray of the shower drowned out her thoughts and suffocated her mind. That  
  
bubble was returning again. Yet this time it wouldn't go away. Happiness had seems to elude  
  
her all too many times. She no longer even recognized its face and form. It was impossible to  
  
distinguish her desires and her contemplations. Her mind had grown. Yet as her thought process  
  
had begun to evolve it swallowed her heart, and simple contentment.  
  
Truth be told I tried my best  
  
But somewhere long the way  
  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
  
But the cost was so much more than I could bear  
  
She let her fingers trace the lines that were sketched in her torso. Her newly showing  
  
bones. She knew that she had lost too much weight, she couldn't take a decent hit from Logan  
  
anymore. She had become to fragile. It wasn't as if she wasn't trying. She wanted to be that  
  
girl. If she could simply be that girl, then she could obtain everything she'd ever wanted. Joseph  
  
was offering it all with open arms. But she had to be that girl. Jean was that girl, and she did it  
  
so effortlessly. Rogue was drowning in a sea of failed attempts, and had begun to lose the girl  
  
she once was.  
  
Though I've tried I've fallen  
  
I have sunk so low  
  
I messed up  
  
Better I should know  
  
So don't come round here and   
  
Tell me I told you so  
  
And now Remy had come back. Claiming that he adored the girl that she had been. He  
  
loved her for her flaws. They apparently made her unique. She didn't understand it. He had left  
  
her here to rot, but then returned as if he had never left. Maybe it couldn't be that easy. Maybe  
  
simple emotions couldn't dictate her existence. Remy offered zero stability or reliability. What  
  
would lead her to believe that he wouldn't ditch her again? What was different now? Why did  
  
he deserve her trust? He had already broken her heart once before. Joseph had never hurt her,  
  
and never could. She fell down onto the bed and shut her eyes. Absorbed the silence.   
  
Everything had changed. Nothing was easy anymore. Not simply boy and girl fall in love. She  
  
was once untouchable by any man, and now had been touched so deeply that she could not let go.   
  
  
  
We all begin out with good intent  
  
When love is raw and young  
  
We believe that we can change ourselves  
  
The past can be undone  
  
But we carry on our back the burdens of time always reveals  
  
Her past was not bright. Not the simple story of a coveted southern belle. Her life had  
  
been hard, just as hard as the others if not worse. The boys tortured her before she left. For what  
  
she had done to Jack. But it hadn't been her fault. She didn't mean to hurt him. It was an  
  
accident. Yet he was still inside her head. Was he reason she knew how to throw a ball as well  
  
as she did. He was the star pitcher for Wilson High School's Varsity baseball team. He told her  
  
that she was pretty, and then that she was a malignant slut. Only just trashy enough to think  
  
about while jacking off. They had attacked her that night in the alley. Were never convicted  
  
though. She still had the scars to prove it. Like the one on her chin.   
  
In the lonely light of morning  
  
In the wound that would not heal  
  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything   
  
I've held so dear  
  
But she had grown since then. Had changed. She was someone knew now. She had a  
  
Vera Wang wedding gown. People that were beaten by their fathers didn't get Vera Wang  
  
wedding gowns. They stayed freaks their whole lives. They never escaped. She was so close.   
  
Had almost been redeemed. Joseph tried to rescue her. Yet, Remy wanted to save her another  
  
way. Save her by not saving her. Letting her simply be. And this world she'd built up around  
  
her, this world of glass, seemed all too tangible now. Too real. She had tried so hard. The  
  
words echoed in her skull. Remy was real.   
  
Though I've tried I've fallen  
  
I have sunk so low  
  
I messed up  
  
Better I should know  
  
So don't come round here and   
  
Tell me I told you so  
  
She was once the flirtatious girl in love with Remy, then the sophisticate who had  
  
ensnared Joe. She was below both now. Had slipped off the precipice that she so dearly held  
  
onto. Joe was logical. But she wasn't much for logic. Remy was as real as her blood and sweat.   
  
He tasted her tears. Yet there seemed to be nowhere left to turn. She wasn't the same girl that  
  
was captivated by Remy's flirtatious remarks. But Joe wasn't keeping her attention. She was  
  
trying too hard. It was destroying her. Killing her from the inside.  
  
Heaven bend to take my hand  
  
I've nowhere left to turn  
  
I'm lost to these I thought were friends  
  
To everyone I know  
  
Logan had once told her that Remy was her other half. The only one that would ever  
  
return after her temper flared. He did always come back. Until that one night. They had argued  
  
for two hours over something silly. Her had flirted with a twenty year old bartender with perky  
  
breasts and tacky blonde hair. She had stormed out on him. She had told him that maybe she  
  
couldn't handle it anymore. That she couldn't be with him and not touch him. That it had gotten  
  
too hard. It had always been too hard.   
  
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed  
  
Pretend that they don't see  
  
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it  
  
And there doesn't seem a way to be revealed  
  
Yet the others pretended to go deaf during their quarrels. They exited the room with great  
  
speed when they heard them coming. It was almost laughable. Until the day he left, and the  
  
mansion went silent. She had cried, in the shower, for days on end. Wouldn't let anyone else  
  
know that she had cried. Logan knew. She knew that he figured it out ut never said anything.   
  
They both kept silent. Then Joe came onto the scene. Logan seemed happy. Then she was able  
  
to touch. Joseph had helped her, and loved her. She mumbled small nothings as she drifted into  
  
a black sleep.   
  
Though I've tried I've fallen  
  
I have sunk so low  
  
I messed up  
  
Better I should know  
  
So don't come round here and   
  
Tell me I told you so   
  
She awoke two hours later curled in the fetal position with tears running down her  
  
cheeks. She couldn't breathe. The mansion was black but she knew the way. The tears still fell  
  
down her cheeks and her pace quickened. Her feet stuck to the hard wood floors and the soft,  
  
clammy sound kept rhythm with the Grandfather clock in the main hall. She slipped into the  
  
pitch dark room and approached the bed, face still damp.   
  
I messed up   
  
Better I should know  
  
So don't come round here and  
  
Tell me I told you so  
  
Remy opened up the sheets and she slipped in.  
  
"Ah'm sorry Ah woke ya up."  
  
He held her tighter.  
  
"An' Remy?"  
  
"Oui, Chere?"  
  
"Ah'm sorry I cried in your mouth," she began to sob again.  
  
He held her head to his chest and shushed her tears. He felt her sob until she went limp in  
  
his arms. He brushed the matted hair off her wet cheeks and touched her silky skin. He  
  
eventually dozed off but kept one ear open, just in case the nightmares came back for her in the  
  
night. He wouldn't let anything get to her. He couldn't. 


End file.
